Saturday, February 24, 2007

6 weird things

On my way to work yestrerday, I thought of a dozen or so weird things about me. However, I shall now attempt the daunting task of limiting myself to just 6:

1.) Speaking of 6s, I have a sixth sense when I drive. For example, I can sense when someone wants to change lanes a.k.a. "cut me off" before they even move the steering wheel. The sensation comes before I even look at which car wants to move. Then I zero in on the car that is sending me this feeling. After either gunning it or taking my foot off the pedal (depending on the situation), the car will change lanes every time. Fortunately, this ability has kept me from a few bad accidents over the years.

2.) I'm a counter. Yup, I count steps, stairs, and many other weird things. It began when I was a kid. I would try and make every staircase I climbed into an even number. Odd numbered things were "bad luck." This means that when counting, a person may need to disregard or include any landings that may appear so as to come out with said even number. It's quite exhausting, as you can see. As I grew up, this eccentricity expanded to include a weird thing I do with my jaw while driving (Are you sensing a theme here?! As a travelling musician, I find myself in the car a lot). I will click my jaw alternating on both sides as I go under over passes (or would they then be called under passes- I never know...). This has to happen a certain number of times before getting completely under the...over pass. I also make wishes while driving over train tracks, but perhaps that's any entirely different weird thing?!

3.) I LOVE bad media. To define "bad" media, I'll give you a list of my favorites: TV: E!, Entertainment Tonight, any show that discusses the stars. Magazines: People, Star, Entertainment, again, anything that discusses the lives of the stars. It never fails. When I'm in a doctor's office and have to choose between something like Newsweek and a trashy star magazine, I'll go for the latter every time. Believe me, as someone who reads the New Yorker religiously, this is very difficult for me to admit. Why do I even care about the Stars?! I've tried answering that question for years and have come up with a couple theories. It could be that no matter how bad my own life is, at least I don't have to live with Tom Cruise. Or perhaps it's because I'm fascinated with the lack of privacy these poor people have and am curious to see how they deal with prying feverishly into their lives through these exploititive photos and articles, apparently. Anyway, this is one of the few reasons why Scott and I don't have cable- I have NO control.

4.) This entry is quite gross, so please do not read if you are eating anything or have a generally weak stomach. I can't move my bowels until I check my e=mail every morning. And if I don't check my e=mail, I 'm screwed. Although Scott is full of shit, as you all discovered in his six weird things he can relieve himself of copious amounts throughout the day. I'm a one time a day-er, IF my e=mailing is successful. Sometimes my new message list is fairly slim, which inevitably results in a less than stellar ability to drop the kids off at the pool. Trust me, I have tried fiber, but I'm telling you, it's e=mail. Now, if I'm really in a bind (pun intended), all I have to do is find the time to go to a bookstore. Upon setting foot in a bookstore, I can feel ready to approach the bathroom within minutes! Weird.

5.) I am both fascinated and freaked by psychics. It's a complicated relationship that I have with psychic premonitions. On the one hand, I find myself to be a somewhat rational being. I believe in the "cause-effect" scientific explanations for just about everything in nature. However, whenever I see a publication of the futuristic visions of someone like Nostradomis, I become a believer in just about anything. In recent years, I have had a fascination with the psychic Sylvia Brown. She predicted the London rail bombings on the show Montel before they happened!!! (NOTE: I am NOT a regular watcher of Montel; I watch only when Sylvia is on...regularly.) However, just recently she was exposed on Larry King as having said that someone's son was dead when he was actually alive and he was found shortly after her prediction. Hmm.

Despite my love of hearing about what is "seen" to be the future by various psychics, I am also deathly afraid of any premonition. I first heard about Nostradomis when my family was vacationing on the British Isles. We were someplace in Ireland when this girl from Mexico (it was a guided tour, and we had to spend 2 weeks with complete strangers, getting to know their eccentricities- but that's for another blog) brought out a book she was reading about Nostradomis. She was reading it voraciously because of the recent real news events- Saddam Hussein had just ordered the Iraqi military to invade Kuwait. If you twisted Nostradomis' words just right, you could read about this event actually happening. I couldn't sleep for several nights on that trip due to this girl's book. I would break out into a cold sweat every time I thought about it. So, despite my fascination with psychics, I only own one book by Sylvia Brown. You can bet your bippy that if anyone ever bought me more books of this nature, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands and eyes off them, nor would I be able to sleep! (This is NOT a request for more books- I need baby stuff more than I need books by psychotic psychics!) Again, my logical side prohibits me from indulging. So, no cable AND no psychic books.

6.) I HATE games. If we go to a party and someone says "let's play a game!", my heart absolutely sinks. Perhaps this stems from some kind of childhood experience with games, but really I don't care to figure it out. I just don't like games. Frankly, I find them to be a waste of time. I understand that some games like chess or checkers can actually stimulate the brain and help make you smarter. If that's the case, then please tell me what the point of Trivial Pursuit is?! Why is trivial knowledge celebrated in this country? As a child, I always thought that you had to be really smart in order to play Trivial Pursuit (so my sister said, when she didn't want me bothering her and her friends). As an adult, I find it hard to believe that knowing who won Wimbledon in 1982 is important to my every day survival.

And then there are card games. This is when everyone sits around the table, pretends that they have some kind of "strategy" for whatever game they are playing, and proceed to belittle all of their opponents. Card banter is the worst kind ever. I once stopped speaking to a whole group of people with whom I worked during a summer job because of the way their banter continually degraded women. For example, what's the worst card in the game Hearts? Some people call it the Queen of Spades. Most people, however, call her the Bitch. There were many other examples of this kind of degrading banter, but I have since blocked it out. Yes, I will play a game or two and take part in this meaningless banter, but trust me, every time I do it, I'm doing it just to avoid the worse alternative, which is everyone NOT playing a game just because I don't want to and then proceeding to make me feel guilty for apparently being a social moron. The thought "this too shall pass" gets me through every time.

So, I can't really think of anyone to tag, so I'm going to suggest a new topic: What are 6 of the worst things you have ever done in your life? I tag Stephanie and Stephene.


L*I*S*A said...

Wanna play Euchre? ;)

kat said...

I don't think I knew you were a counter! Huh!

Are you sure it's not the *coffee* you may be drinking during the checking of email that gets things moving??

One more thing...didn't we have tons of hours of fun playing PayDay??

Tess said...

Heavens no, I don't want to play Euchre, but yes, I do remember having fun playing Pay Day Kristen. But perhaps that had more to do with putting the money on my parents' ceiling fan, turning it on, and watching all that colorful money go in all directions.

Animal said...

Poor Tess - I am a HUGE lover of games, both cards (esp. pinochle and hearts), and board (Trivial Pursuit, plus all the other "adult" games like Catchphrase, etc.)

I also play Magic: The Gathering RELIGIOUSLY. Shortly after we hooked up, I gave Tess the "starter set" as a Christmas present and, to her everlasting credit and MY everlasting devastation, she actually played with me. I was trying to bring her into my world, and she was trying to show me that she, I know, with that "this too shall pass" mindset. *Sigh!* Sorry, lover. To your credit, you were a quick learner and yes, you won some games of your OWN accord, not just because I let you. Thank you for loving ME enough to try...and, to not throw such a misplaced gift right back in my face!

sdb said...

I have a little bit of the "sixth sense" thing when it comes to cops. I often will notice I am speeding, slow down, then pass the po-po. I'd guess it has saved me at least a dozen times.

Steph said...

I am so with you on the games thing. The sucky thing is that everyone on my mom's side of the family is freaky obsessed with games. My grandmother was the nicest, purest, more submissive Mennonite woman you ever did see in every other setting, but she was a vicious blood-letting fiend around the Scrabble board. After her funeral all her grandchildren got drunk and played Scrabble in her honor. It's the only way I can stand to play Scrabble--drunk. Sorry, Grandma.